“And Now….a Toast…….” A collection of toasts

So a few days ago I was browsing Reddit/Imgur like I normally do. (How else can I pass the time at work?) And I came across a thread that had users favorite toasts. I saw a bunch that I had heard before and some others that I have heard before that I really liked. So I decided to make a list here so that anyone and everyone could see and use it the next time they are with friends, family, or with strangers at a bar and they need something witty to stop a fight from happening!

Here to you not getting into any bar fights any time soon…Enjoy and feel free to add any of your own in the comments!

“May today’s best be tomorrow’s worst.”

“May your coffin be made of 100 year old oak, and may I plant the trees tomorrow.”

“Good ships and Wood ships, Ships that sail the sea. but the best ships are friendships and may they always be.”

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

“Here’s to smoking like wizards, drinking like dwarfs, and partying like hobbits.”

“To space! When god made man, he made him out of string. But he had a little extra, so he left a little thing. When God made woman, he made her out of lace. But he didn’t have enough, so he left a little space. To space.”

“May we never go to hell, but always be on our way.”

“To the floor for always holding me up, and to the ceiling, so I always have something to look up to.”

“I’d like to thank my arms for always being by my side, and my legs for supporting me.”

“To lesbians and virgins, thanks for nothing.”

“Here’s to the east, here’s to the west, here’s to the whole damned nation. But here’s to the state we love best, the state of intoxication.”

“Let us drink to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. If you must cheat, may you cheat death! If you must steal, may you steal a lover’s heart. If you must fight, may you fight for your brothers… and if you must drink, MAY YOU DRINK WITH ME!”

“May these be the worst of our days.”

“A toast to bread, for without bread there’d be no toast.”

“Here is to the floor, who will hold you when nobody else will.”

“May we be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows we’re dead.”

“May we always get what we want, and never what we deserve”

“Here’s to the storks that bring the good babies, the crows that bring the bad ones, and the swallows that bring no babies at all.”

“When we drink we get drunk, when we get drunk we fall asleep, when we fall asleep we commit no sins, when we commit no sins we go to heaven. So let us drink and go to heaven!”

“May all your ambitions and desires become fulfilled… Except for one.. so you always have something to strive for.”

May I live forever, and you live forever and a day.


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